October 15th, 2010 – 5 days overdue

BPP test all good. Our little bean scored 8/8 :)! Good to know she’s healthy and well and living in comfortable conditions. But it does mean I need to stay pregnant for two more days!

The nurse practitioner told me to stick with the plan and call Sunday. Unless something miraculous happens like I have contractions or my water breaks tomorrow. What are the chances;)?! I’m mostly just feeling very tired so I may take tomorrow to get a mani-pedi and just rest up. I think after Sunday, rest is pretty much a thing of the past. I’m still having the occasional cramp, contraction, and am more and more uncomfortable. The baby is moving well again. Put it this way: I would NOT stand for another week like this. I’d sooner find another doctor.

I’m actually ok with the scheduling part. Hair and make up can be done, nails, I can recheck my bag just to make sure I have everything I need…or actually remind myself of what I have. Who knows, maybe I’ll be watching Brothers & Sisters with our bean on Sunday night?!

Again, what are the chances?!

October 14, 2010 – 4 days overdue

BPP is scheduled for tomorrow. While I obviously am praying everything is just perfect, I want to be kept there. I need to start exaggerating that pressure and twinge and back pain….

40 weeks and 4 days – hopefully the next photo will be with our bean :)!

October 13, 2010 – 3 days overdue

What a difference a good nights rest can make! I didn’t have to take any Benedryl, but I was nervous to do so as the baby’s movement had slowed some. Taking something that would make me sleepy made me nervous for her wellbeing. But, I slept great without it :)!

I hadn’t really felt the baby move a lot today, and yesterday was also pretty quiet. I did a kick count last night and got to 8 before I really had to pee, badly. tonight, just to be sure, I did another kick count after I spoke with doctor on call, Dr.Tran. I got to 6 with about five minutes to go, when she got the hick ups. When I called Dr. Tran back she said hick ups count 🙂 she said I could have gone to the hospital if I wanted too, or I could just do the kick count at home. I didn’t want to be tested, monitored and sent home, when I could do my own test here. I’m not quite sure what else I can at this point. I’m feeling a little lost without Swaim, but I know a pro is just a phone call away. I have to trust my gut.

She was pretty active for about an hour after the test, but has quietened down again. Tran suggested I do the test again before bed, which I will, without chugging the OJ (it seriously gives me heartburn and makes me really nauseous) so I may just find something sweet to eat instead.

I also think it’s pretty normal that she would quieten down by now. There’s no room in there, no where to go! The biophysical is scheduled for Friday, and if I need to call again tomorrow and move it then I will.

October 12, 2010 – 2 days overdue

I think I hit a wall. A little insomnia, every night, is really beginning to take it’s toll on me and I’m exhausted. I can’t seem to fall asleep until after 1 or 2 and I’m waking up at a regular time between 8 and 9. Doesn’t sound so terrible but when your lugging around a 7lb baby…it’s pretty exhausting. I tried to nap today and couldn’t quite fall asleep either and eventually I just got back up. I don’t know what the deal is but I’m sick of it.

I also started to feel pretty ill today, just generally sickly, like I’m coming down with a cold or something. Mum says she gets like that too when she’s tired. I thought it might be allergies. I might pop some Benedryl in a few to make sure I sleep and kick out whatever I might be picking up.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror today at the mall, and holy crap, I had NO idea just how huge I was. No clothes really fit properly anymore, and pretty much all of my underwear is too tight. Hands and feet are beginning to swell much worse than they have. My wedding ring slides on beautifully as it always has in the morning but by the afternoon, it’s a little tighter and I have muffin top on my finger :(!

It’s funny, a couple of weeks ago I was paranoid about making sure my legs were shaved and my hair was blow-dried “just in case!”. Right now, I could give a crap. They’ll have seen hairier legs than mine! I don’t want to walk anymore. I want to sleep and I want to have this baby. I’m very much done.

October 11, 2010 – 1 day overdue

So the Bean’s really cool birthday came and went 😦 I’m sad we didn’t get 10.10.10, but I do realize how minor it is in the grand scheme of things! It was just too good to be true!

So now at 40 weeks and 1 day, I’ve stopped watching the clock, if I ever really was. I really tried not to think every little twinge and cramp was “it”, based on the fact that everyone has said ‘you WILL know when those contractions are real’. I took the same approach to the appointment I thought/hoped we wouldn’t need today. Paul packed his bag for the hospital (finally!), we switched my bag into his truck so my mum could drive my car down to the hospital if Dr. Swaim decided to keep me. There was a little excitement, but I really didn’t feel any different. Knowing what I know about Dr. Swaim, I was very skeptical of today’s apt.

I explained how I wanted to move being induced on Sunday and I didn’t understand why it couldn’t be moved to sooner. She explained that I’ve had a very normal pregnancy – a complete blessing – and am growing a very healthy, normal baby – another blessing. As with every first time mom, Dr. Swaim wants to avoid a C-section and there is no reason for me to have one. By inducing at this point, the risk of having a C-section is increased dramatically. At 41 weeks, that risk changes and keeping the baby in utero any longer could be harmful and the placenta could stop functioning properly, etc. etc.. She doesn’t want to induce unless she really has to, which I fully understand. I’m just bummed that she won’t be there. So, what she did do was schedule a biophysical test for Friday morning (WebMD – “A biophysical profile (BPP) test measures the health of your baby (fetus) during pregnancy. A BPP test may include a nonstress test with electronic fetal heart monitoring and a fetal ultrasound. The BPP measures your baby’s heart rate, muscle tone, movement, breathing, and the amount of amniotic fluid around your baby.”) and should that score not come back satisfactory, they’ll likely keep me in Friday and go ahead with the induction then. If everything checks out, we have to call Sunday to see if there is room available for us and we’ll move on in from there. She said Sunday is usually quiet so chances are we’ll get in and be fine. She said a Dr. Thompson will likely be babysitting me Sunday night and Monday it will be someone else as the Dr. on call rotates, so it’s the pick of the draw it seems. Either way, we’re having a baby this weekend!

I wish it was Swaim, and I told her so. But, its just the way the cookie crumbles. As my friend Missy told me tonight, the important thing is to stay flexible in all of this, and I’m really trying. She had Diego three weeks ago, vaginally, and made everything sound so remarkably easy. She also held nothing back – breastfeeding, bowel movements … which is what I do need to hear. As I’ve said before, there are some very valuable things that all the books in the world just seem to leave out. It’s like you reach week 40 and the book ends, when really, it’s just beginning! Mine – “Your Pregnancy Week By Week” – has bullet points about what to expect a week, month, six months and a year after, which is great…but very limited! No one tells you what happens in those minutes & hours after you give birth. Every pregnant girl needs a girlfriend or two to share the gory details (ooh, maybe that’s my multi-million dollar book deal…all the gross stuff no one tells you about AFTER pregnancy! It sounds a bit like being initiated into a secret club that no one talks about!)

My mind has been eased and I’m not as mad about it all as I was last week. As I keep telling my mum, the only thing I’m concerned about is the recovery. We can handle the baby ;)! I have to at some point…! I do feel more on edge than I was, and I’m definitely getting “testy” at times, no doubt. The million dollar questions – “Any baby news yet?” – gets REAL old REAL quick and I’m so sorry to all those mom-to-be’s who I bugged! I had no clue how irritating it can be! I can’t help but be thankful we have so many caring friends though. I’ve couldn’t have stayed sane without the good advice from some old, some new, friends and family and I will never, ever forget the support and love that people have shared.

Physically, I’m still feeling pretty good. I’ve had some cramping and strong movements from the Bean these last few days. I may have had some mild contractions, but nothing worth timing or writing home about it. Walking far gets a bit uncomfortable and moving around in bed has become like an Olympic sport. I have a little insomnia, falling asleep is a bit of a problem, and my appetite seems to changed some. I have no major swelling to complain about, no real backache, no hemorrhoids, or leaky boobs…so overall, considering HOW pregnant I am, I’m doing well! I have it very easy and I’m well aware of that 🙂

All that walking and spicy food this weekend helped get me to 1cm dilated today! Just nine more to go! Hopefully, none the induction stuff even happens and I just go on my own :)!

 

 

October 8, 2010

I think we’re all a bit fed up right now. At this weeks appointment, Dr. Swaim found that nothing was really changing, a little softer, the baby is a little further down (the internal check hurt like hell, I actually yelled out!) but there was nothing that stood out to her. The ultrasound discovered that the fluid levels have increased (to 10-something) which is great, and the baby was measured again and is completely normal in every way. I couldn’t be happier about that 🙂 I couldn’t help but wonder if it was something I had done, despite reading that towards the end of pregnancy, it’s normal, etc., etc., I also hoped it wouldn’t be an issue during L&D…thankfully I don’t need to worry about those things anymore. We’re all normal 🙂

Because we’re so normal and there’s nothing happening, Swaim has scheduled an induction on Oct. 17. I have a couple of issues with this. Despite that it’s really exciting to have a date and know that she’ll be here by Oct 18, and it’ll all be over with and we’ll be parents and all that amazing stuff…..I don’t understand why I have to wait so long. My due date is Oct. 10. Dr. Swaim won’t even be delivering the baby on Oct. 17, so my question is why can’t we move it up to ANY day next week, after Oct. 10, so that she can maybe deliver her. It’s infuriating. I called once already this week and she said she wouldn’t move it because “nothing had changed and it’s my first baby”. I plan to bring it up at Monday’s appointment again. I’m most unhappy with her decision & feel like I have no say in any of this. I feel like there has been someone else running the show for the last 10 months…when is it my turn? I’m doubtful she’ll change the induction. I know it’s normal, especially for first time moms. But given the timing of the whole thing…

I’d recommend Swaim in a minute. I have no doubt about her ability and the way she jumped on the panic attack issue and the low fluid issue, I really have a lot of respect for what she does and how passionate she must be about her profession. What I would say is that if you’re looking for your mom in scrubs, she is not the one for you. She is tough, she sees through BS very quickly and she is by the book 100%. I need that toughness during L&D, I know I do. I’m a weeny, and I really think she’ll push me to just get it done.

So, that’s this weeks hoopla. On the flip side, I’m really enjoying this time off 🙂 my mum is here now and while I love having her around, and her cooking, I feel bad that nothing is happening and we’re all just playing the waiting game. I wish I could make things happen, and we really are trying, but this Bean is just taking her sweet time and I can’t seem to move her! We hit the mall this week and I walked the three mile Memorial Park track yesterday (it was three miles by accident! It took a whole hour and then some!). I did some yoga this morning, so I’m really trying to move. I swear she’s lodged in there & showing no signs of moving anytime soon!

Besides some boredom & the general angst that comes with just WAITING, physically, I’m fine. I may have some random insomnia here and there and some contractions now and then, but again, it’s nothing consistent and nothing thats lasts (or worth clocking). I’ve been trying to get things done in the morning and if I’m going out do it then, as usually by mid-afternoon I’m wiped out. And I have NO desire to clean ;)! When the baby moves it hurts more and I know its pretty cramped in there (she should really consider moving out). We watched The Happiest Baby On The Block this morning which I bought a couple of weeks ago. A friend recommended it and then it came up in one of our baby classes (the five S’s) so I’m ready to try out some techniques. One lady was at a loss after her baby cried for six hours……I didn’t know they could do that for so long, but she swaddled & swooshed & swung and her baby magically stopped crying!

I also got my monthly Shoedazzle purchase in 🙂 I haven’t been using it these last few months as I’ve been living in flip flops this summer, but I decided to treat myself to some blue suede 3-inchers 🙂 in hopes that by the end of the month I’ll be back to my normal too-high-heel-wearing self 🙂 I got an 8.5, my usually pre-baby size, but it barely fits…my mum said I should exchange them for a 9…but I’m thinking my feet will go back down to an 8.5? Won’t they?

Here’s to Monday’s appointment!

 

September 28, 2010

What a day! We had our routine 38 week appointment this morning with Dr. Swaim. I felt fine, had no complaints (none that she could fix anyway!). After all the poking and prodding from last week, I had to call the nurseline as there were some unusual issues but it turned out Swaim may had ruptured some capillaries, so nothing to worry about it seemed. But, this week, I’m “softer” than I was and am beginning to open slightly she said, so good news there :)! She measured me and was concerned about my small size. She said it could be a number of things; a small baby which is nothing to be terribly concerned about, or the fluid levels could be low. So, off for an ultrasound we go….I did get my first ever flu shot though before we left the office 🙂 my arm hurts but I feel ok so far.

We arrived at probably 10:30am to the radiology dept at the Womans Hospital. We didn’t get seen until 2:15!!! A very busy day apparently 😉 the ultrasound showed that the bean is on the small side at 6lbs, but it’s not unusually small and the more accurate measurements showed she is just fine 🙂 had the levels been low, they would have likely kept me and we would be on our way to having a baby by now which was a bit daunting, but I was ok. I was very calm through today, I figured I was in the right place and so is the baby. These people are pro’s ;)! Maybe I knew somewhere in my gut it wasn’t meant to be today.

I can’t say I’m not a little disappointed though. Its such a crazy whirlwind of emotions. Earlier this week, I had an overwhelming sense of just not wanting to share this little bean with anyone. I’ve bitched and moaned my way through this pregnancy, and I didn’t find it easy by any means. Thankfully, we had no issues health wise, and for that I couldn’t be more grateful.  But for 9.5 months, its just been me and her.  I’ve been completely responsible for her well-being and she’s been totally reliant on me. I don’t think that will change. I feel like I know her and I know whats best ….and I think this is the bond they talk about. Its incredibly powerful and completely indescribable. I just don’t know how I’m going to be able to hand her over to other people care for her, and I’m just thinking about my family and Paul, I can’t imagine a perfect stranger taking care of my baby at this point. Part of me wishes I could keep her in there forever. Its completely selfish of me, I know.

So, as I’m typing my mum is on her way from California 😉 I put off telling her as long as I could, so as to avoid panic. But she knew we had an apt today and would have been wondering what was going on. A good thing? It will certainly cut down on the daily calls/texting. Maybe now she’ll believe I’m fine!

Today’s ultrasound showed some very clear pics of the bean which was super exciting. I could just watch that screen all day. We’re so lucky – we’ve had four ultrasounds, while most only get two, three at most. And thankfully, they’ve been filled with good news 🙂 we were trying to figure out who she looks most like. One thing is for sure – she’s got some cheeks!!! She also grew into her nose ;)!

It’s been such a great week beyond that! I caught up with my great friend Meredith Friday in town from San Antonio. She had twins earlier this year so I picked her brain on plenty of concerns I had! She’s better than any doctor :)! We also caught up with new baby Ava and our God daughter, Genesis, who just adored Paul! We even tested out the Baby Bjorn, although baby G may have been on the big side ;)! It was so weird to have two little ones running around our house – baby G and Teri and Jason’s son, Rocco. Both are almost two, and just little bundles of energy! Thank goodness they don’t come out like that!

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